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'Bling-bling' on track to OED *
Coined to describe the big, gaudy jewellery worn by some rap stars, "bling-bling" is a style statement that takes some nerve to pull off -- a kind of in-your-face confidence not normally associated with dictionary editors.
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'McJob' offends McDonald's *
Yes, but do you want fries with that?
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'Time-traveller' busted for insider trading *
Urban myth? Or true story? You decide...
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(C)Ours: A bear's beer *
If Yogi Bear cartoons are any guide, bears are suckers for picnic baskets. But a black bear at Baker Lake Resort in Washington State proved this month that his taste lies more in Das Brew-ski. (And isn't it a comfort to know the Globe is publishing this kind of material on its editorial pages?)
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* Search lists provide sociological key to countries' priorities *
In a shocking (to some) upset, popular role-playing game "RuneScape" topped our sacred NHL as Canada's Most-searched Online Subject in 2008. And the weirdness continues. . .
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* Washington Post's Style Invitational, 2006 *
This year's top newly coined words.
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*The Washington Post's Ploy on Words *
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
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A folk-mock star: Eugene Levy never blows A Mighty Wind *
In A Mighty Wind, which opens on Friday, Christopher Guest and his gifted ensemble of improvisational actors, do for -- or to -- Sixties folk music, what they have previously done for amateur theatre in Waiting for Guffman, or dog competitions in Best in Show.
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A kinder, gentler Piggy Parking Award form *
A "nicer" version of evalu8.org's Piggy Parking Award -- your recipient -- once "cleansed" of his offending behaviour -- can pass this along to the next Piggy Parker!
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A special thank-you for all your e-mail messages *
Getting a lot of spam? There's gold hidden in them thar messages!
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Academic admits to profane hoax on literary rival *
A biographer of English poet Sir John Betjeman has confessed to writing a hoax love letter that duped a rival author, a British newspaper reported Sunday.
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Actors scramble to join NRA's hit list *
Hollywood heavyweights urged to get on U.S. gun lobby's boycott list
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Alberta grizzlies fitted with digital cameras *
Don't back away or play dead -- smile! That grizzly has a digital camera!
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Alberta mules set to start their Hong Kong jobs *
The six Alberta mules who packed their bags for overseas work have gone into quarantine at the Hong Kong Jockey Club and are expected to be on the job by the end of the month.
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Alice Cooper gets Hollywood star *
Alice Cooper showed up in full makeup to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
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Amazon sues Toronto company over name use *
Amazon.com Inc. has launched a series of lawsuits against marketers, including a Toronto firm advertising a penis enlargement product, that the on-line retailer alleges are falsely using its name.
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An epidemic of the nastiness virus *
The SARS epidemic is not going to kill us all, but it is a timely metaphor for the existentialist truth that hell is other people. Which seems even more true in postmillennial Toronto.
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An idea worth 83 cents *
With the arrival of the loonie and toonie in Canadian economic life, many pants pockets have come apart under the added weight of metal money.
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An illuminating night in the hospital *
Where our hero meets Barf Nurse, eats paste and gets some great inside information on how to recover your health.
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AOL exerts vice-grip on subscribers *
All Vincent Ferrari wanted to do was cancel his $14.95 per month account with America Online (AOL).
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April Fool's Day -- (from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) *
Great pranks, celebrations and why we HAVE April Fool's day. . .bet you feel smarter than a fool already. If you enjoy a little "drill down" (and who doesn't?), you'll love this introduction to a great site!
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Author sues Steven Spielberg, Nick Park *
We think author hasn't got a (chicken) leg to stand on...
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Bad Dresses Come Out of the Closet at Ugly Dress.com *
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll ask yourself how friends can make
friends wear such heinous bridesmaid dresses.
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Bend Over, bin Laden *
And interactive game -- warning: Highly addictive!
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Beware the Ides of March? *
Forget Friday the 13th. Ignore ladders, black cats, broken mirrors and spilled salt. Think instead of March 15. . . and beware. . .
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Beware the wiseacre-free zones *
Last week's opening lines struck a chord in Casper, Wyoming. A Canadian named Matt Van Dusen toils for the Star-Tribune newspaper there, and he seems to have a moment now and then to read The Globe and Mail.
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Bill's Antique Christmas Light Site *
Interested in collecting heritage Christmas lights? Want to know more about antique lights and ornaments?
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Blowing in the Window: Victoria's secret? Bob Dylan *
The legendary Bob Dylan appears in a new series of television ads for Victoria's Secret, his grizzled face intercut with shots of model Adriana Lima cavorting though Venice in a bra, panties and spike heels.
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Bon Mots, not Bon Jovi: Celebrities as good as their word *
LIAM LACEY shows off his collection of pearls that fell from the mouths of stars in 2003.
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Brad Pitt bares torso at wax museum *
American actor Brad Pitt will become the first topless exhibit at the Amsterdam Madame Tussaud museum where fans can admire his waxworks likeness as of tomorrow, the museum said yesterday.
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Brokeback Mounting parody smashes records *
Half-minute parody of film generates 1.4 million page-views in first month, 75 per cent more than previous top-viewed title.
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Bushy bandits having a ball *
As they teed off on the 10th hole, Ron Nimchuk and Fred Paranchych could only shake their heads at the menace lurking in the shadows of the evergreens lining the picturesque fairway.
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Carny World: Hey mark, put down your toonie *
Rarely do people look behind the whirring and clanging colour-saturated booths and notice the 427 trailers parked behind the rides, trailers housing the 300 core carnival workers who have been on the road working the southern United States since January and opened the Canadian tour in Thunder Bay in June.
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Cartoon creators sued *
The creators of a popular Internet cartoon that satirizes U.S. President George W. Bush and his Democratic challenger John Kerry are being sued by the copyright holder of Woody Guthrie's classic folk song This Land is Your Land for using the tune without proper authorization.
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Cat translation dictionary, Volume I -- Common phrases *
Courtesy of evalu8.org reader (and cat lover), Liz Marshall. . .
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CBS chairman defends Jackson interview *
CBS's top executive has complained that the network's news division, embroiled in questions about how 60 Minutes obtained an interview with Michael Jackson, is held to a higher standard than its rivals.
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Celebrating the siesta: Most of us already know that a good nap is the best cure *
Don't be shy about nodding off. I'll understand; you're only making sure you're going to be as alert as possible for that pivotal, wind-up paragraph at the end
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Celebrity Moustache Book honours Canadian band 'THE GUYS' *
Is "Man With A Moustache" the first theme song of the literary world?
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Charity: It's own reward! *
'Tis the season to be hurried, and it's hard to take time out to consider the spirit of Christmas. Meanwhile, every day in North America there are about three million PowerPoint presentations -- those point-form, keep-it-simple-stupid summaries that have become one of the official languages of our time-pressed era. IAN BROWN wondered what Dickens might have done with the same technology. So, as a public service, The Globe presents the quintessential Christmas tale in the quintessential modern format: A PowerPoint Christmas Carol
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Cheap getaways: (In the) Bargain basement *
It's vacation time. Draw the curtains, douse the lights, make sure the door is locked -- and then sneak down to the cellar.
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Cheney wings right-winger in hunting accident *
Over the weekend, avid hunter and poster boy for the National Rifle Association Dick Cheney thought he had aimed straight while quail hunting on a southern Texas ranch. Only instead of a bird, he blasted fellow hunter Harry Whittington, a 78-year-old Republican, hitting him with birdshot in his face, neck and chest.
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Choose your masque *
For instant mystery and melodrama, nothing beats a Mexican wrestling mask.
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CHUM apologizes for Conan sketch *
A TV comedy sketch in which a grouchy puppet took potshots at French Canadians was called unacceptable and racist garbage by some federal politicians Friday.
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Church of Scientology Fined in France *
The Paris branch of the so-called U.S.-based "Church" of Scientology was fined 8,000 euro (about $7,200 USD) on Friday for breaching France's privacy law.
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Cicciolina's new deal *
When Preston Manning led the federal Reform Party, he vowed that if his party became the Official Opposition he would refuse to live in the official residence of Stornoway. He would turn the place into a bingo hall, he said, and use the proceeds to pay down the debt.
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City of Augusta gets down on James Brown *
The city of Augusta doesn't feel good about James Brown.
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Classless, crass, deplorable and hairy *
I am sorry. Mea culpa. Me bad. By now, you've surely read about my inadvertent display of partial nudity in the history class that I teach on Wednesday afternoons. Before a roomful of impressionable undergraduates, I loosened my collar to expose a large, sweaty tuft of chest hair.
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Coca-Cola: Household hints *
Other uses for the "Real Thing"...
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Coming: Our brave loo world *
The latest scoop on poop is all about rotating toilets that clean themselves, send alerts when the paper runs out and cost as much as a downtown condo.
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Conan gets the last laugh *
We are taking suggestions for new, recurring characters that O'Brien can feature on future broadcasts. E-mail them to conan@globeandmail.ca, and don't limit your imagination to Tiny Tim Horton or Bob the Angry Mountie. We'll print the best in Saturday's Review.
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Conan rules Canada this week *
They must be saving the maple syrup for later in the week because the first Toronto taping of Late Night with Conan O'Brien on Tuesday night left no other Canadian cliché unclobbered.
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Conservatives Pick Soft Target: A Cartoon Sponge *
On the heels of electoral victories barring same-sex marriage, some influential conservative Christian groups are turning their attention to a new target: the cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants.
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Course collection *
Bad golfers in search of a new excuse for their horrible performance may find their dreams realized in Edmonton. Squirrels have been stealing golf balls from the 10th and 18th holes at Riverside Golf Course, racing up tree trunks and plopping the balls into the nests of magpies.
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Croc hunter rejects outrage over stunt *
“Crocodile hunter” Steve Irwin angrily rejected any comparisons between himself and disgraced pop star Michael Jackson, after provoking outrage by hand-feeding a crocodile while holding his infant son, a newspaper reported Sunday.
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Crocodile hunter slammed for baby stunt *
Crocodile hunter Steve Irwin's honeymoon with the Australian public could well be over.
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Cruise is 'Goebbels of Scientology,' says German church *
It claimed the actor was using his celebrity status to publicize the controversial -- and faux-religion -- Church of Scientology, of which he is a prominent member. . .
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Cruise, Lauer argue on 'Today' *
'Worlds' star: 'You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do'
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CSI: NHL *
Just for fun: What if my favourite shows were combined?
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Customs puts the bite on cobras-up-leg smuggler *
A Swedish man tried to smuggle eight dangerous snakes into Australia by strapping them to his legs, customs officials said today.
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Dan Greenberg's weird universe *
The American writer and humorist Dan Greenburg has, for some time now, made a very respectable living based, essentially, on a four-letter word that starts with "F."
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Dastardly Deeds: The Mis-adventures of Captain Copyright *
It's a bird, It's a plane...it's a conveniently censored, holier than thou, flying A-hole!
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Davis challenges Schwarzenegger to debate *
Governor Gray Davis challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger to a debate “right here, right now,” accusing the actor Friday of distorting his record. The Schwarzenegger campaign declined.
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Day blames Internet, not Afghan involvement, for terror threats *
Meanwhile, Jon Stewart pokes fun at the concept of terrorism in Canada, saying: "It's like being mad at toast."
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Dead dog gets Christmas card from PM *
A dead golden retriever named Gregg mysteriously ended up on the federal Liberal party membership list, entitling the pooch to a Christmas card from Prime Minister Paul Martin and invitations to party functions, the dog's owner said Friday.
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Dealing the dirt on celebrities *
A Las Vegas company is trading off our worst inclinations: It's selling decks of playing cards with the mug shots of celebrities who have been arrested.
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Dear Jean, I'm doing just fine, how are you? *
Artist Chris Lloyd has converted the thousand or so e-mails he has sent to the prime minister into art, but he's not expecting him to visit the gallery exhibit in Halifax, SHAWNA RICHER reports
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Death in Bath *
Necrologists believe that there are more things in heaven and under the earth than are dreamt of in our philosophy, and those things are worth a spirited debate.
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Deep discount at Futureshop.ca? *
Customers to Future Shop's on-line store this morning must have thought it was Christmas all over again.
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Designer Andy Fould's site is full of fun and games *
Lots of George Bush interactive stuff.
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Did you see the moon last night, Hung like a Chinese ball? *
Last night, it looked like the moon rising in Joe versus the Volcano. Here it is, glorified in a song of the '70s. . .
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Discover wikipedia *****
We love Wikipedia, and we bet you will, too!
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Do gentlemen really prefer blondes? *
On the acknowledgments page of her entertaining historical treatise on blondness, British journalist Joanna Pitman informs us that few female academics wished to discuss the subject with her. "Perhaps," she writes, "they were unable to shake off associations with the dumb blonde."
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Dog receives RBC Visa card *
Casper Boxer, a white boxer dog living on a Quebec farm near Ottawa, received an RBC Visa card this week with a $1,000 credit limit.
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Drawn and quartered *
They're funny until they get mad. Editorial cartoonists in the United States are at war with each other. DOUG SAUNDERS describes the battlefield
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Dwarf mouse dies at 41/2 -- 136 in human years *
Yoda, a genetically modified dwarf mouse that lived to be the oldest of his kind, died yesterday in his cage at the University of Michigan.
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Dwarf-tossing: Ontario MLA sweats the small stuff *
The organizer of a dwarf-tossing contest vowed the show would go on Thursday even as an angry Ontario politician made an 11th-hour bid to stop the event.
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Edinburgh Fringe Fest features 1,500 shows *
Featuring more venues than ever -- 207, to be exact -- this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival will present 21,594 performances of 1,541 shows by 668 troupes.
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Eeyor-eka: U.S. scientists clone a mule *
Owner of racing hybrids puts up funding; horse clones imminent, researchers say
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Elisabeth von Hullessem: Dubious dinner date on eBay *
Fraudster tried to auction off a chance to dine with her and hear tall tales of crime.
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English, or something like it *
He may not know it — or know that he knows it — but U.S. Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has won this year's “Foot in Mouth” award for the most baffling statement by a public figure.
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Engrish *
Offensive? Or just plain funny?
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Every Arnie film has been a manifesto *
Ya, hello und guten tag. I am Arnold Schwarzenegger's campaign manager, und I am here to demonstrate that Arnold is more qualified than Peter Ueberroth und Larry Flynt to be fuehrer -- sorry, governor -- of 34-million Californians.
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Everything you never wanted to know about stomach gas *
What foods cause you distress? If they're on this list, better cut them out.
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Extremely...high *
Austrian extreme parachuter Felix Baumgartner makes a death-defying jump, earlier today (he landed safely).
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Family adopts rare two-headed turtle *
The Pascarell family is no stranger to unusual animals. But to their six dogs, three cats, four horses, 11 fish and one hamster add the strangest pet yet: a tiny two-headed turtle.
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Faulkner? Well, not quite *
A Virginia man's wordy parody of Goldilocks and the Three Bears was neither too serious nor too silly, but just right — and judges selected his spoof as the winner of the 14th annual Faux Faulkner contest.
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Feejee Mermaid *
A famous hoax. A model of the Feejee mermaid appears in Rob Zombie's new film House of 1000 corpses, if you look quickly! Rob Zombie himself has always been fascinated by "human oddities."
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Fetch the Prickly, quickly *
Very occasionally, after one too many glasses of holiday celebration, a person will wake up with a splitting headache, a mouth as dry as a dehumidified desert and a resolve never again to drink anything stronger than tea.
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Finding strength in the sisterhood *
This from my pal C, editor of a fashion magazine, with reference to her Look.
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Finger-pullen contest *
Sounding every bit like an episode of Family Guy, this is for real. Oh, those wacky Germans.
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Firm turns to eBay for Tube parts *
One of the firms maintaining the London Underground is having to buy spare parts on eBay because the equipment is so old!
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Fish Flushers Learn Life Does Not Imitate 'Nemo' *
Margie Valadez, a dispatcher for RotoRooter, is used to calls from upset customers whose watches, rings or even cell phones were accidentally flushed down the toilet. Lately, though, she's been taking calls from hysterical parents asking if plumbers can rescue fish.
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Flames determine 'tis a nobler partnership to be than not to be *
Now playing in that big downtown park near you (providing you live in Calgary): The Complete Works of William Shakespeare sponsored by the hockey team that has fired more coaches than Henry VIII had wives and last made the playoffs when Romeo was still hot for Juliet.
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Flower power missing, and Future Futures *
One of the more curious things in science happens when a scintillating advance is proclaimed by media everywhere and then, as far as the ordinary person can tell, vanishes.
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Fool's Day 2006 *
Another year, another foolish act. . .
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Fox sues Al Franken for trademark infringement *
Al Franken, the humorist being sued by Fox News Channel for use of the phrase "fair and balanced," said he doesn't mind the legal action. But he does wish it hadn't happened during his vacation.
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Foys-eh? A silly site *
Steamed at someone this holiday season? Relief is just a couple of clicks away...
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Friday the 13th myths and legends *
Today, some people will be so paralyzed with fear they simply won't get out of bed. Others will steadfastly refuse to fly on an airplane, buy a house, or act on a hot stock tip. It's Friday the 13th, and they're freaked out. Are YOU?
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Garber rant: Fiction versus real-life and predictions about the Da Vinci Code *
I think the next volley in the Da Vinci debate is that those alleged blood-line descendants of Jesus and Mary -- the purported Merovingians -- will reveal themselves. Good idea, huh?
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Gas, food, laughing *
Standup comic Brent Butt's new sitcom is set in the make-believe town of Dog River, Sask. But his aim isn't just small-town humour, he tells GAYLE MacDONALD.
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George W. Bush doll takes U.S. novelty market by storm *
According to a U.S. news story last week, a new President Bush doll is talking tough on terrorism. But like the real president, it occasionally misspeaks, too.
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Girl Hockey Talk: If Ikea introduced a 'Naslund' line of items *
If the marketing folks at Ikea were really clever, they would name some of their items after prominent Swedish hockey players. In Vancouver, for example, we're sure that -- even though he is not going to play for the Swedes in the Olympics -- items in the "Naslund Line" would sell like Swedish hotcakes. (And other weird Ikea satire.)
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Goalkeeper goes hoarse, court orders compensation *
A goalkeeper who claims he lost his voice by yelling at other players is entitled to welfare benefits for a work-related injury, a court has ruled...Yes, but will he ever sing again...?
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God appears; Man beats the CARP out of him! *
Talking fish bewilders believers and non-believers alike.
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God's got e-mail *
Jews who want to send notes to heaven used to have to travel to Jerusalem and stuff them into the crevices of the Western Wall. Now, they can log onto the Internet and send them by e-mail.
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Graffiti artist Banksy 'enhances' Paris Hilton CDs *
Hundreds of Paris Hilton albums have been tampered with in the latest stunt by "guerrilla artist" Banksy.
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Grandma faces 40 years for spate of robberies *
A 58-year-old grandmother -- the mother of a Michigan policeman -- has been accused of robbing two banks.
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Great White North Park *
Canada finally gets another animated series to rival the likes of Pingu and The Racoons. Only this time, parents might want to tuck their kids in before it airs.
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Groundhog Day *
The lowly groundhog, often called a woodchuck, is the only mammal to have a day named in his honour.
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Groundhog Day 2005 *
Groundhog Day approaches, and so do reruns of the movie, always a welcome treat.
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Hands off this cliché! *
It must be the silly season. In the United States, the Fox News Channel (Rupert Murdoch, prop.) is suing Al Franken, a satirist familiar from the TV show Saturday Night Live, for using the phrase "fair and balanced" on the cover of his new book.
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Happy Easter, 2009 (and Pesach / Passover) *
An Easter smile.
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Hells Angel fails to take wing *
Man arrested after he tried to board a plane with a fully loaded, semi-automatic handgun.
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Herd it on the bovine *
Mad cows? Hardly; they're just a little pissed off at being caught. . .
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Here's one for the record books. *
On Wednesday, April 5, 2006, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be. . .
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High heels and arthritis not linked, study finds *
Debutantes and drag queens take heart: New research shows that, contrary to common belief, wearing high heels does not contribute to arthritis later in life.
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Hitler's face on wine bottle tasteless: German minister *
Germany has complained to Italy about a winery that labels its bottles with portraits of Adolf Hitler.
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Honey bees get buzzed *
An Australian scientist is doping up honey bees with cocaine to study how their brain reacts to the drug and possibly find a way to stop addiction in humans. The story says the bees were not harmed, but we did spot a couple of them on the street corner, looking to score.
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Hoping for a Rubik's renaissance *
A contingent of 'cubists' has descended upon Toronto to compete -- and to rekindle interest in a fad
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Hot prose, bad poetry at a doctor's hearing *
And on the eighth day, God took pity upon reporters, and created for them great stories about some of the living things which creepeth upon the Earth.
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Humourists hold court in the Big Apple *
You don't get standup comedy at the New Yorker Festival's humour revue -- just great writing.
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Hyatt Hotel Goes for Guinness Book Record for Giant Gingerbread man *
If it's true that bigger is better, then the Vancouver Hyatt Regency is a shoe-in for the award of merit for Christmas Spirit this year: They are trying to make it into the Guinness Book of World Records for the largest gingerbread man ever baked!
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I'm 40, I must be dead *
A terrible thing happened to me a week ago. My life ended.
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If Dubya took a call from Jean *
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In defence of the shopaholic *
There is no 12-step program for people like me. We just pay the piper by struggling to pay the Visa bill. And we take a lot of unwarranted abuse.
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In favour of kissin' cousins *
One of the great mysteries of biology is the one that Charles Darwin supposedly resolved: the origin of species. Darwin argued that useful traits would arise through mutation and then be selected in a natural setting. The end result would be a new species.
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In Philly, it's Mummer's Day *
Comics dressed like Philadelphia Flyers hockey players and a shackled "Saddam Hussein" pranced and danced up Broad Street as the Mummers Parade returned to a South Philadelphia route, and spring-like weather helped draw big crowds to the nearly eight-hour spectacle.
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In these blackout, mad-cow times, good citizens can still be polite *
Manners can be a minefield, and never more so than this summer when all kinds of sudden assaults on our basic comforts have increased the opportunities for incivility.
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Is Markus Naslund Related to Prince Hamlet? *
Just a theory, mind you...
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Is SpongeBob gay? *
The producer of a music video for children, featuring scores of their TV heroes ranging from the Muppets to SpongeBob SquarePants, says he's astounded the project has been assailed by some conservatives as a cunning attempt to advocate homosexuality.
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It's snowing metaphors *
English-speakers have a number of ways of saying the Inuit have a number of words for snow. The metaphor is always the same -- that people pay close attention to subjects that are important to them -- but nobody agrees on how many words there are supposed to be.
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It's splitsville for Barbie and Ken *
Just like J.Lo and Ben, the romance is over for Barbie and Ken.
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Jack Stats (and Jack Jobs) *
Since re-igniting the antenna ball craze in 1995 with its Classic Jack antenna ball, Jack in the Box has sold or given away more than 22 million antenna balls.
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Jacko's back in town *
Michael Jackson has returned to Indianapolis for a second attempt at giving a court-ordered deposition in a copyright lawsuit.
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Jackson calls charges 'a big lie' *
Michael Jackson proclaimed his innocence directly to his fans yesterday, using a personal website that called the child-molestation allegations against him "a big lie."
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Jackson denied under hypnosis that he abused children: Psychic Uri Geller *
Psychic Uri Geller defended his friend Michael Jackson on Sunday, saying the pop singer denied under hypnosis three years ago that he had sexually abused children.
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Jackson launches Web site proclaiming innocence *
Pop star Michael Jackson, addressing his fans directly via a new website, says the child molestation allegations made against him are "predicated on a big lie" and that he will be exonerated in court.
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Jackson takes responsibility for 'costume reveal' decision *
Although Justin Timberlake did the ripping, Janet Jackson is taking the heat for her Super Bowl stunt.The controversy over the singer's exposed breast at the finale of the Super Bowl halftime show refuses to die. And the CBS network is taking steps to make sure a copycat act won't happen during Sunday's televised Grammy awards.
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Johnny Rotten to appear in reality TV show *
Johnny Rotten – the icon of angry punk music who once revelled in being “an antichrist” and compared Britain to a fascist regime – has agreed to appear in the reality show “I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here!”
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Jokes on Iraq: Where the skewer is mightier than the sword *
It didn't take long for jokes about the war in Iraq to surface. Some of the best, MICHAEL POSNER finds, are on Websites
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Judge clamps lid of secrecy on Michael Jackson documents *
The judge presiding over Michael Jackson's child molestation case ordered 82 pages of documents and related tape recordings sealed Friday because they contain "sensitive information" about a boy's claims that Jackson sexually abused him.
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Judge denies Fox TV's attempt to block book *
A U.S. federal judge denied Fox News Channel's request Friday for an injunction to block humorist Al Franken's new book, whose title mocks the Fox slogan "fair and balanced."
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Just for fun: A new Walmart ad *
Truth is usually stranger than fiction. Note: Remove child before storing boat.
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Just for Fun: The Love Calculator *
How can I tell if he loves me so? It's in his kiss (yeah, yeah), it's IN his kiss...
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Karoshi: There must be better ways to get a break *
Did you know that 317 Japanese died last year due to overwork? They call it karoshi. This corrosive factoid made me drop my spoon in my bran flakes and catapulted me into the contemplation of things I really shouldn't have been thinking about before going to work.
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Keeping the biotech genie in the bottle *
Just two years ago, a couple of artists opened a small boutique called Gene Genies Worldwide in a trendy part of Pasadena, CA.
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Klein gets pie for breakfast *
The menu called for pancakes. But Alberta Premier Klein got pie for breakfast at Calgary Stampede event.
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Leap Year Day 2004 *
Leap year day -- that extra day in February every four years -- is usually the time for celebrating rare birthdays, making up for lost anniversaries and, if custom holds, for women to propose marriage.
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Leap Year Traditions *
A leap year is a year in which an extra day is added to the calendar in order to synchronize it with the seasons. Since the tropical year is 365.242190 days long, a leap year must be added roughly once every four years, in order to keep the calendar year synchronised with the astronomical or seasonal year. In this case, February has 29 days, instead of the usual 28.
[More]
Lenny Bruce gets posthumous pardon *
Comedian Lenny Bruce was granted a posthumous pardon by Gov. George Pataki Tuesday for a 39-year-old obscenity conviction prompted by a foul-mouthed political commentary.
[More]
Leno can joke about Jackson, judge rules *
A judge gave late-night TV comedian Jay Leno his blessing yesterday to tell virtually all the jokes he wants about pop star Michael Jackson and his child-molestation trial.
[More]
Lies and the Lying Liars: Judge denies Fox TV's attempt to block book sales *
A U.S. federal judge denied Fox News Channel's request Friday for an injunction to block humorist Al Franken's new book, whose title mocks the Fox slogan "fair and balanced."
[More]
Live Beach Cameras *
Ever wonder what's going on at your local beach -- or a beachfront half-way across the country? I know that we have!
[More]
Lone orca attacks sailboat in Nootka Sound *
A young orca separated from its pod attacked a 32-foot sailboat several times in Nootka Sound Tuesday, causing major damage and leading the skipper to fear for his life and that of his crew.
[More]
Lord, He's hot *
Talk about resurrecting your career. Name the arts genre and Jesus was there in 2003, MICHAEL POSNER writes.
[More]
Love Calculator (2) *
Version #2 -- try it now.
[More]
Love Calculator (4) *
What are the chances of your romance succeeding? Let's find out -- just for fun. . .
[More]
Love in the time of SARS *
Wedding guests are cancelling and men are losing their mojo. It's enough to make a singleton want to settle down
[More]
Love unwanted *
A judge threw out an arrest warrant for rocker Courtney Love on Tuesday after she appeared for a court hearing.
[More]
Malaysian man, 33, marries 104-year-old woman, who weds for 21st time *
A 33-year-old man in northern Malaysia has married a 104-year-old woman, saying mutual respect and friendship had turned to love, a news report said Tuesday.
[More]
Mallick's most wanted: Watch out, Wills *
Toronto's chief of police, Julian Fantino, the Mel Lastman of Canadian law enforcement, recently announced that his Most Wanted List has 400 people on it.
[More]
Man Arrested After Leaving Small Tip *
A New York City man accused of leaving an inadequate tip at a restaurant was arrested, fingerprinted and photographed for a mug shot.
[More]
Man sues on-line auction firm over John Lennon album *
The former owner of the album that John Lennon autographed for his assassin just before he was killed is suing the Internet auction company that sold it, claiming the firm has not paid him any of the money he is owed.
[More]
Martha Stewart Living Behind Bars *
Spoof cover; sorry, Martha!
[More]
Mayor unleashes goat program as city goes ba-a-a-ack to basics *
Vancouver's GoatingGreen program -- which originated in the Netherlands -- is the first of its kind in North America.
[More]
Memo to CBC: How to deal with the delay *
Frequently Asked Questions about seven-second broadcast delays...
[More]
Michael Jackson has trouble drawing a crowd *
Small gatherings of Michael Jackson fans held candlelight vigils around the world Saturday to support the pop megastar as he faces allegations of child molestation.
[More]
Michael Jackson pleads not guilty *
Circus atmosphere prevails as pop star is arraigned on child molestation charges; fans invited back to Neverland.
[More]
Michael Moore Statement on Canadian Election (before) *
Before the Canadian election, this is what Michael Moore had to say to us. . .
[More]
Mid-summer Br-r-r *
A mid-winter swim by the Australian Antarctic Division...
[More]
Mime Fest: Some quiet time *
There's not much to say about a mime festival...
[More]
Mixed-up driver closes busy border crossing *
A lost American with a grenade in her glove box closed one of the busiest U.S.-Canada border crossings for almost an hour Monday.
[More]
Monkey business *
comment...
[More]
Montreal man trading paper-clip for house *
Last July, Kyle MacDonald, a 26-year-old Canadian, started making trades. He traded a little red paper clip for a pen that was shaped like a fish. He then traded the pen for a doorknob, which he then traded for a Coleman stove. He always hoped to eventually trade his way to home ownership.
[More]
Moore may crash Bush's party *
The ever-colourful filmmaker Michael Moore is rumoured to be on the guest list for this year's White House Correspondents dinner -- a development that would surely give his nemesis, George W. Bush, a severe case of heartburn.
[More]
Mutt-za *
Mutt-za, for Jewish Dogs
[More]
Names for the full moon *
name that moon...
[More]
Naomi Campbell appeals to House of Lords *
Model Naomi Campbell went to the tradition-steeped House of Lords on Wednesday to try to win legal privacy rights for Britain's beleaguered celebrities.
[More]
New Living Will *
Just what you need. . .
[More]
New NERD party deserves a moment's thought *
Now that the writ has finally been dropped, I can unveil -- exclusively to readers of this column -- a new political party: the Newfangled Effort to Re-engineer Democracy (NERD for short).
[More]
New use for eBay: Welcome to 'short-attention-span theatre' *
Artists are finding a strange sort of new gallery for their work in the on-line auction site . . .
[More]
New York apartment-envy's a real killer *
Would you let your spouse sleep with someone for $1-million? Oh, sorry: That's the premise of the movie Indecent Proposal, which is set in Las Vegas.
[More]
Nickleback cups runneth over *
A Manitoba woman is collecting bras to toss at Nickelback when they perform here in March.
[More]
No smiling! We're Canadian *
The Government of Canada says passport photos are no laughing matter: In fact, you're not even supposed to crack a smile.
[More]
Now available from HRDC: A computerized aptitude test that tells apples to be oranges *
It is not an easy thing to do, writing a letter of resignation.
[More]
O'Brien aftershocks reverberate in U.S. media *
Nearly a week after U.S. talk-show host Conan O'Brien stumbled into a Canadian political controversy, the aftershocks are finally hitting the American media.
[More]
Of Coca-Cola and Dryer Sheets *
Along with baling wire, duct tape is one of the most useful tools on a farm. Perhaps we need to add to this list Coca Cola and Bounce dryer sheets. Here's an abbreviated list of what these can do.
[More]
On the Wagon *
In my book, TGIF stands for "Thank God it's February'." I know, February is utterly miserable. It's just the time of year when the icy walks and piles of snow cease being delightful, and thanks to those horrid groundhogs, we are still looking at six more weeks of winter. But now that it's February, there is one small consolation: Everybody can finally start giving up on their annoying New Year's resolutions.
[More]
One Hen, Two Ducks *
This is the so-called the "Announcer's Test" popularized by Jerry Lewis when he sat-in for Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show.
[More]
One man, several women *
As Canada debates what should constitute a legal and natural marriage, researchers in Italy and Switzerland have thrown a historical spanner into the nuptial works.
[More]
Opinion: What are you smoking, Canada? *
The issue of decriminalizing marijuana is first and foremost about safeguarding kids and Canada should be attentive to the threat that marijuana poses to youth.
[More]
Oregon town marks 25th anniversary of Animal House *
They put a wrecking ball through the building that was Delta House in the classic comedy Animal House, so what's left?
[More]
Oscar via the sip, shot and chug *
The Academy's taking the high road (yawn), but that doesn't mean the rest of us have to, JOHANNA SCHNELLER writes.
[More]
Ottawa may allow sale of pot at pharmacies *
Under pressure from the courts to reform its medical-marijuana policy, Health Canada is considering a Dutch option in which marijuana would be made available to needy patients at the corner pharmacy.
[More]
Our PM is one plank short of a raft *
When Prime Minister Paul Martin does call a federal election, he'll now be one plank short of a raft full of promises: A chicken in every pot is no longer possible, as we're quickly running out of chickens.
[More]
Out of the blue, you've got rabbis and orgasms *
A friend told me a joke the other day, and I think it's such a good one I've told it to a dozen or more people in the past week. But don't worry. This isn't the best place to tell it. It requires a presentation that is slightly more demonstrative than what I can muster, here on the printed page. And quite possibly, a well-told joke is a little more noise and activity than you'd like to have to deal with, out there, waiting for the coffee to drip.
[More]
Over-used words banned list released *
Here's the annual List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness.
[More]
Pasta Past Tense: Lasagna joust the thing *
After a hard day's jousting, what a medieval English knight needed was ... a plate of lasagna.
[More]
Piggy Parking: Perhaps 'JAUNE' is the new 'CHUTZPAH' . . .? *
Before I ever accidentally say something flattering about the manners and mores of Torontonians, remind me of this. . .
[More]
Police apologize over Windsor intruder *
A comedian who gate-crashed Prince William's 21st birthday festivities, dressed as Osama bin Laden in a peach ball gown, clambered up trees and walls to get into Windsor castle.
[More]
Police may change security for next Jackson hearing *
Authorities in Santa Barbara County are considering security changes for Michael Jackson's next court date after hundreds of fans surged into the street last week to watch the pop star dance on top of his sport utility vehicle after his arraignment.
[More]
Potter fan tries to conjure up Nobel Prize for J.K. Rowling *
Joanne Rowling may have more riches and fame than any other writer in history, but one thing has always eluded her: critical acclaim. Now one man is trying to change that by nominating Rowling for the ultimate critical accolade: the Nobel Prize for Literature.
[More]
Prank message via Google mocks WMD search *
The hunt for weapons of mass destruction isn't going so well in Iraq. It's not going so well on Google, either.
[More]
Product review: Mutt-za ****
Isn't your family dog really just like a member of the family? And wouldn't he or she enjoy treats that make him feel as though he was really one of the "Chosen People" too?
[More]
Province fights workers' charge hospital made them sick *
For 11 months, Duncan MacIntyre has suffered soaring headaches, dizziness, tremors, vertigo and fatigue so extreme he spent most of last summer in bed.
[More]
Psychic Love Calculator (3) *
I THOUGHT you would like this one. . .psychic!
[More]
Public airwaves: where Delahunty can roam free *
Mary Walsh of CBC's This Hour Has 22 Minutes planted a heavily lipsticked kiss on Stephen Harper's mouth, leaving the Conservative leadership hopeful amply smudged and more than a little taken aback. It was a typical comic mission for Marg Delahunty, fan/scourge of high-profile politicians. But since then, the incident has been cited as proof of a leftist conspiracy at the network.
[More]
Quotable Conan *
Some one-liners from Conan O'Brien's first monologue Tuesday night...
[More]
Quoting Leviticus *
An open letter to Dr. Laura Schlessinger . . . found on the Internet.
[More]
Recent Developments: The SPAM Museum! *
Author:photo essay by Anne Garber
One of the truly serendipitous discoveries of our road trip across I-90 in 2002 was the recently opened 16,500 square-foot SPAM Museum, in Austin, MN. This is the town where George A. Hormel started his meat-processing empire in 1891.
[More]
Richards denies snorting his dad's ashes *
Excellent idea, though, Keef. . .
[More]
Rick Mercer a sly Mr. Nice Guy *
'Toquaplasia" reads a scribbled note on a board in Rick Mercer's office. "Oh, it's just an idea," he says, glancing at the word and waving away any importance it may have. "Some horrible head disease Canadians get from wearing toques," he explains under his breath as he chuckles at his own potential joke.
[More]
Road range *
If you think the rules of the road are daunting in your neighbourhood, consider the poor lawbreaking pedestrian in the Czech Republic.
[More]
Rolling up the rim rules change in light of virus *
The SARS outbreak has put a crimp in doughnut giant Tim Hortons "Roll-up-the-rim-to-win" contest. Customers, at least those in Ontario, are no longer allowed to hand a winning rim to a store employee.
[More]
Royal Wedding Redux *
This morphed photo is going around e-mail, and we had to share. . .
[More]
SARS an invader from outer space? *
An international group of scientists has come to believe that the deadly SARS virus is an invader from outer space. Obviously, when the space aliens said "Take me to your leader," everyone naturally thought of Toronto's Discount-retailer-slash-Mayor, Mel Lastman...
[More]
SARS coverage fuels fear instead of calming it *
The way the SARS crisis has played out on TV has been bizarre to watch. The upshot is that these are the plague years in Toronto. I keep expecting to turn on CNN and find some excitable reporter informing an international audience that in Toronto there are body-laden carts being dragged through the streets by dyspeptic city employees who call out, "Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!"
[More]
Schedule some sympathy for these devils *
Barring a last-minute strike by Local 43 of the Rock Concert Tarpaulin and Folding-Chair Workers Union, here are the final regulations and schedule for the July 30 Rolling Stones "Liver Spots '03" concert in Toronto.
[More]
Science: Sailing on a sunbeam *
In the interest of smooth stellar sailing, NASA has announced that it will help a small U.S. aerospace company to perfect a technology that would use sunbeams to travel to the stars.
[More]
Sees all, knows all: Is it God or Google? *
A few weeks ago The New York Times printed a column with the tingling headline: "Is Google God?" Google is, of course, the Internet search engine, and god is, of course . . . well, what constitutes a deity turned out to be one of the interesting issues of the debate that followed publication.
[More]
Segway climbs New England's tallest peak *
It took six sets of batteries and three drivers, but a Segway scooter made it to the top of New England's tallest peak.
[More]
Self-hating Seattle strikes at espresso elite *
The starting point of taxation is blame. When a government needs to raise revenue, it targets those who can be easily portrayed as guilty -- of making too much money, or guzzling too much gas, or smoking cigarettes or drinking booze.
[More]
Shark absorbers? *
Even in a world known for its unusual weddings, a couple in Cattolica, Italy, went over the top.
[More]
Sharp, young entrepreneurs: Take heed *
Contributing Editor Lorraine Gannon has forwarded us this excellent idea for the snow season: She's even thinking of going into the business herself.
[More]
Sideshow: Harry the Hat goes home *
Voodoo dolls, spell kits, gris-gris bags -- this is what most folks recognize as New Orleans-style magic. But that was before Harry the Hat set up shop in the French Quarter with a very different bag of tricks.
[More]
Six Billionth Can of SPAM Luncheon Meat Produced *
Sixty-five years after its introduction, the six billionth can of SPAM was produced.
[More]
Skipping stones: It's a science,say physicists from France *
Balderdash, reply world record holders, it's really nothing but a fine art.
[More]
Skydiving 101 *
No sooner had former U.S. president George Bush jumped out of an airplane at the age of 80 than an Australian went him 21 better.
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- December 1, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON.
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- December 4, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON.
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Friday, August 8, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
Friday, August 8, 2003
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Friday, December 12, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON.
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Friday, February 27, 2004 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Friday, February 6, 2004 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON.
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Friday, January 16, 2004 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- June 19, 2003 *
Nearly 1,000 whales, dolphins and porpoises drown every day after becoming tangled in fishing nets and other equipment, according to a report released by the World Wildlife Fund.
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- May 12, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- May 14, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- May 28, 2003 *
The average food molecule in Canada travels 2,000 kilometres from its point of origin before hitting a grocery cart," says Canadian Geographic magazine.
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Monday, August 25, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Monday, February 23, 2004 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Monday, March 29, 2004 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON.
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Monday, October 20, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- November 21, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- November 28, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Thursday, August 21, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Thursday, August 28, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Thursday, October 30, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Thursday, September 18, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Thursday, September 4, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Tuesday, May 27, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Tuesday, September 2, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Wednesday, August 13, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Wednesday, December 17, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON.
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Wednesday, November 5, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Wednesday, October 1, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHEAL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Wednesday, September 10, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Wednesday, September 17, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
Social Studies -- Yip Yap *
Yip yap. A U.S. company, Chomp Inc., has developed a canine breath mint.
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES July 11, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES July 30, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
[More]
Social Studies with Michael Kesterton: Colder winters ahead? *
A Daily Miscellany of Information by Michael Kesterton
Monday, March 31, 2003 - Globe & Mail, Page A16
[More]
Social Studies with Michael Kesterton: Shark attacks (attacks ON sharks) *
Last week, lifeguards in Rio de Janeiro told bathers to leave sharks alone after three who strayed near the beach were killed, following a suspected shark attack. In one case, a mob clubbed and stabbed a pregnant female shark to death when the two-metre-long fish ventured into shallow water.
[More]
Some of my fellow Americans just don't get it *
Last week, my satirical comment "Can we Democrats Become Your Next Province?" was published here.
[More]
Spam maker defends name *
Hormel goes after junk e-mail blocker
[More]
Stalker might be husband, alderwoman told police *
Destroyed evidence to protect him, Heatherington says. Didn't we see an SCTV sketch on this?
[More]
Stars and SARS: the fallout continues *
Toronto is a safe place to visit, the World Health Organization decided last week, but some celebrities, it seems, haven't heard the word. Moreover, the SARS panic appears to be confusing their knowledge of geography.
[More]
Statistics Canada planning to collect blood, urine samples from Canadians *
The next time a Statistics Canada pollster knocks at the door he may be out for blood (. . . We think we'll just send them some now.)
[More]
Stephen Colbert causes Wikipedia chaos *
Stephen Colbert, who hosts the Comedy Channel's nightly show The Colbert Report, has caused bedlam on the popular user-supported encyclopaedia site Wikipedia, by urging viewers to assail its pages with made-up "facts."
[More]
Stephen Colbert Gets a Double Scoop of AmeriCone Dream *
Ice Cream’s Ben & Jerry Salute Flavour on "The Colbert Report."
[More]
Surf is always up in management course *
A college in Wales is offering a bachelor's degree in surfing -- and it has already received a dozen applications for its Surf and Beach Management program.
[More]
Take my country . . . please! *
His barefaced lies and poker-faced bravado have made Comical Ali a pop-culture hit
[More]
Tempest in a teacup *
Ah, it's Saturday and time for a cup of tea. But how shall we make it? Do we follow the chemists' rules or the physicists' rules? If this is not a question you have been asking yourself, then you are unaware of a dispute that has been boiling (ha-ha) in Britain.
[More]
That darn cat *
What do you get when you cross an airline with a feline? You get a cross cat, a disconcerted pilot and an impromptu landing. You also get a reminder of the link between further and farther: If there's fur, you won't get far.
[More]
The answer is still no *
Brenda Gould is in trouble again for registering her cows as voters.
[More]
The Ant and the Grasshopper, reinterpreted *
A moral tale: We're not quite sure if it loses something in the translation to "Canadian" -- or not.
[More]
The case of the stalker and the masterpieces *
It has become clear by now that the reasons behind the brazen theft of two Edvard Munch paintings from the Munch Museum in Oslo were probably psychological rather than commercial. . .
[More]
The EU constitution, complete with minibar *
Toronto writer and documentary producer Gerry Flahive wryly dishes up the real impact of the European Union's expansion of influence to the former Communist east.
[More]
The Future of War *
A long -- but interesting -- "game."
[More]
The googlewhacking goofball *
Dave Gorman blew a book advance travelling the world. Fortunately, he stumbled upon a bestseller, MICHAEL POSNER writes.
[More]
The Ladies' Room Reader revisited ****
This book is ideal for a quick pick-up and put-down (if you can -- put it down that is) in the loo. Which also makes it a fun Valentine's gift for the girl-with a sense-of-the-bizarre.
[More]
The lighter side of 2003 *
PHILIP JACKMAN gives us the lowdown on Viagra-taking schoolboys, exploding puff pastry and Butt Hole Road.
[More]
The little Spider that COULD *
Reader Allen Briggs shares this (perhaps) apocryphal story.
[More]
The love of a good die job *
The success of the quirky drama Six Feet Under means others are digging into this dramatic territory, including Canadian comedian Mary Walsh.
[More]
The makers of lunch boxes could see their business boom thanks to Radwanski's habits *
A year ago, the Smithsonian Institution launched the Lunch Box Memories tour, a nice tie to a Web-site history covering everything from the first "lunch" to the rise, and ultimate demise, of the metal school lunch kit featuring the likes of Mickey Mouse and Howdy Doody.
[More]
The return of Jacques LeDoux *
News from Nancy White's on-again-off-again publicist, the inimitable Jacques LeDoux. . .
[More]
The rise of the political machine *
The new film, Join Arnold , is not related to Hey Arnold: The Movie , based on the Nickelodeon cartoon about the little boy with the football-shaped head who saves his neighbourhood from an evil industrialist. Although both films are political, the Arnold who stars in Join Arnold is a Republican, which means he knows industrialists are not evil.
[More]
The Scream stolen from museum *
Armed men stormed into an art museum Sunday, threatened staff at gunpoint and stole Edvard Munch's famous paintings The Scream and Madonna before the eyes of stunned museum-goers.
[More]
The scuttlebutt on the schnoz *
Perhaps because the nose is so prominent -- as plain as the nose on your face, in fact -- it is the target of much metaphorical injury.
[More]
The Snorestopper: Technology comes to aid of marriage *
The worst thing about snoring is that you don’t have any idea you’re doing it, and you’re basically powerless to stop it by yourself.
[More]
The Spoken Word: Women's Rules of Engagement *
In the war between the sexes, communication is the key. Take our advice and don't be a gender-offender.
[More]
The stunted logic that comes from a diet of cream pies and a million pounds of beef *
Some desk-clearing before taking a little-deserved break: Notice how this has become the Summer of Stunts.
[More]
The year of living statistically *
It's May, at the height of the SARS panic in Toronto, when the hum of the mantras is first heard. People are dropping like flies, the number of cases of severe acute respiratory syndrome is ballooning, some idiot religious cult is disobeying the quarantine rules because God says don't bother, the virus is said to be able to live for 24 hours on inanimate objects -- when suddenly, just like that, everything gets calm again.
[More]
This year, I will not give my wife long johns *
The long underwear, in hindsight, was a mistake. It's clear to me now that no woman wants to find long johns under the Christmas tree, and if you ask me what I was thinking, all I can say is, I wasn't.
[More]
Those e-mails are wrong -- smaller IS better *
OK, maybe we meant "Shorter."
[More]
Three out of 4 groundhogs agree: More winter to come *
It's a groundhog consensus — three of four of North America's most famed woodchucks have seen their shadows, signalling six more weeks of winter according to folklore.
[More]
Three Quick Washington Facts *
A little trivia to brighten your day...
[More]
Tiny bubbles? Fish may be talking *
The sound was unmistakably rude. University of British Columbia biologist Ben Wilson was alone in his lab late one night with a tank full of herring when he heard what he thought was somebody blowing a raspberry.
[More]
Tired of talkers at the movies? Revenge is sweet *
The date approaches for my annual rant about people who talk during movies. But even if the great weight of journalistic tradition did not impose this obligation, the idiots who, with increasing regularity, sit behind me, make it necessary that I speak out. It's my lot in life. Some are born to complain, some achieve it, and some have complaint thrust upon them every time they go to a movie.
[More]
Toddler gets stuck in vending machine *
Slow news days? Or Stepford Toddlers? And is SpongeBob implicated?
[More]
Tom Cruise promotes War of Words (without ever mentioning War of Worlds) *
Scientologist says psychiatric drugs are unnecessary; doctors counter by describing worried calls from patients.
[More]
Toronto to host World Stupidity Awards *
As is appropriate for a "lapsed" Torontonian and longtime Vancouverite...I bite my tongue...(AG)
[More]
Toronto's Woofstock a barking great success *
For the hundreds of thousands of dogs who have never had a show of their own, WOOFSTOCK® presented the chance to attend a free admission, festive, entertainment and consumer show with more than 120 companies offering the latest in every conceivable doggie indulgence, spanning the gamut from artistic to zany -- everything that a cool canine needs to live well in this dog-eat-dog world.
[More]
Torontonians happier, study suggests *
Torontonians, it should cheer you up to know: You are happier than Montrealers!
[More]
Tour bus now a convertible *
Several tourists suffered minor injuries Tuesday when the roof of their double-decker bus was sheared off while trying to cross the lower deck of a two-level bridge.
[More]
Trachtenburg: Hipster, oddball, kitsch *
Performing their own goofy songs to the accompaniment of other people's old discarded photos, Jason, Tina and Rachel Trachtenburg are an indie-rock band with a definite difference, writes GUY DIXON
[More]
Trailer trash: Oh FKUC -- The Boys are back *
The air may be thick with obscenities, but that hasn't stopped fans of TV's Trailer Park Boys, on both sides of the border, from making it a cult hit, SHAWNA RICHER writes.
[More]
Trampoline Hall announces new concept in comedy lectures *
In its inimitable fashion, Toronto's Trampoline Hall has announced that it will sell tickets in December, but that it will not have a corresponding show in that month!
[More]
Transvestite potter wins Turner Prize *
"It's about time a transvestite potter won the Turner Prize," said Perry, who appeared at the prize ceremony in a lilac dress with puffed sleeves.
[More]
Truck Stop: Overcooked, with too much garlic *
A tractor-trailer hauling seven tonnes of garlic powder crashed on a bridge and caught fire yesterday, filling the air with the odour of burning garlic and fuel.
[More]
Try finding a greeting card for this occasion *
It says here (and I'm not making this up), that this is National Masturbation Month -- the observance of which is not entirely clear to me.
[More]
Two names, two wives, two families, but one man *
For decades, Douglas Cone was a man of habit. On Mondays, he would leave his million-dollar, 370-square-metre home in an affluent suburb of Tampa, Fla. By the end of the week, he would return, telling his wife, Jean Ann, and their three children about his business trips to oversee one of the state's biggest highway-construction outfits.
[More]
U.K. supermarket launches musical sandwich *
Tired of the same old lunch at your office desk? Help is at hand. A supermarket is launching the ultimate life-enhancing snack -- the musical sandwich. . .
[More]
U.S. agog over Janet Jackson's boob-boo *
Canadians brush it off as no big deal.
[More]
U.S. congressman blasts Canada on terrorism policy, supports ban on immigrants *
A U.S. congressman who says Canada's in denial about terrorism is applauding as "sound advice" the idea of shutting out immigrants and refugees until the country fixes its security risks.
[More]
UBC students to create hot tub of the future *
Hot tub...of the future?
[More]
Ugliness is only skin deep *
Also our feature about Rev. Aitor and his ever-popular "unflattering portraits."
[More]
Valentines from the Doghouse *
In the doghouse because you've left Valentine's Day too late?
[More]
Vancouver's LIDO -- or 'Li-DOUGH'? *
Many years ago -- while I was working for the Georgia Straight -- I got into trouble for describing the owners of The LIDO on East Broadway as aliens visiting from the planet Tralfamador. I was only half-kidding.
[More]
Vancouver's Second annual (2005) International Tattoo Convention *
May 27, 28 & 29, 2005, Vancouver, BC, at the Empire Landmark Hotel.
[More]
Waiting-room mixup leads to accidental vasectomy *
A Brazilian man who went to a clinic to have an aching ear checked ended up having a vasectomy after mistakenly believing that the doctor had called his name.
[More]
Wanted: Canucks in the buff (NOT a hockey story!) *
Lots of guys are willing to drop their trousers for a shot at stardom, reports REBECCA CALDWELL
[More]
We're all with stupid *
Several new books and a hit documentary are offering a fresh idea of stupidity, as a force, not a failing. Why are so many smart people suddenly examining the dumb, asks TRALEE PEARCE -- is it the Bush Zeitgeist?
[More]
Weird and wacky foot facts *
Podiatrists poke fun with weird and wacky foot facts -- but ask British Columbians to take foot health seriously, especially during Foot Health Awareness Week, May 13-19.
[More]
Well-heeled gent seeks rapturous meed *
Summer is here -- it's probably safe to say that by now -- and the Word Play files are bulging.
[More]
Wente: Mick Saves Toronto *
Okay, so I didn't go. I'm sorry if that makes me a bad person. I want to show the world Toronto is walking tall again. But the thought of walking for hours through the blazing heat, lining up for the subway, being frisked for contraband by the security police, lining up for water, paying $6 for a hot dog, lining up for porta-potties, and sitting all day in the baking sun so that I could get a close-up look at Mick's big lips on a giant video screen was strangely unappealing.
[More]
What do you wear to a body painting competition? *
Artists use semi-clad bodies as their canvas in celebration of creativity and life at Nanaimo's Canadian Body Painting Championships, right after Labour Day.
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What's in a name? *
Happy naming day, Element 110, happy naming day to you.
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When you know you are travelling too much *
Madelyn answers her own question -- we think!
[More]
Why I like wireless writing *
Printed paper, as we know, is outdated. Text will be read on screens from now on. Film too is passé: It costs too much and the cameras are too heavy. Digital video is the way to go.
[More]
Why some haunts haunt you *
Air currents and electromagnetic fields blamed for strange aura of spooky places
[More]
Wild about Harry *
Presumably you are back home by now, having spent the night in line waiting for the midnight release of the new Harry Potter book.
[More]
Williams's DNA reported missing *
Ted Williams was decapitated by surgeons at the cryonics company where his body is suspended in liquid nitrogen, and several samples of his DNA are missing, Sports Illustrated reports.
[More]
Wipe that silly grin off your official face *
In response to public concern about our new "No smiling" ruling for passport photos (okay, people smiling too much on their passport photos wasn't really a big problem to begin with, we admit, but since Canadians are rarely seen smiling in public, we're not sure what the fuss is all about), we at the Canada Passport Office are pleased to announce some minor -- but yet significant -- amendments to our policies...
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With Hope gone, troops get Green instead *
So far Tom Green's USO tour has been tame, but just wait for the 'shock and awe' -- can Carrot Top be far behind?
[More]
Woman crashes when teaching dog to drive *
Bad driving (and judgement) not restricted to race -- or even SPECIES.
[More]
Woman drops lawsuit over Janet Jackson's breast *
Less than a week after filing a class-action lawsuit because of her outrage over Janet Jackson's Super Bowl stunt, Terri Carlin believes she's made her point.
[More]
Workers demand ban on hotel porn *
Angry hotel workers in Norway want to ban pay-TV pornography to stop naked porn-watching guests calling room service to lure female staff to their rooms.
[More]
World Naked Bike Ride 2007 (Vancouver) *
For more information, visit The World Naked Bike Ride website.
[More]
You can't always touch who you want *
When the violinists aboard the Titanic struck up Autumn as the great ship sank, this was a particularly moving example of the persistence of the human spirit in the face of unspeakable tragedy.
[More]
You named her what? *
Does naming a child Apple, as Gwyneth Paltrow did this month, make her feel special or scar her for life? WAHEEDA HARRIS, who knows what it's like to grow up with an unusual moniker, reports on a trend.
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Secondary Sites:
* 88th Annual Vancouver Polar Bear Swim *
The swim takes place at 2:30 p.m. on the first day of each new year at English Bay. To be a club member you must register before the swim. Registration takes place in front of the English Bay bathhouse from 12:30 p.m. each New Year's Day.
[More]
Alleged stalker sues Britney Spears *
A Japanese businessman ordered to stay away from pop idol Britney Spears has sued the singer, saying her security guards pointed a gun at him and caused "extreme emotional distress."
[More]
At 84, original 'abductee' still wants to believe *
You could say Betty and Barney Hill's last meal -- at least, the last while they still led normal lives -- was eaten in Montreal, one of their favourite cities.
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Big money governs California recall race *
Schwarzenegger, other hopefuls accused of patronage, 'legalized bribery' by critics.
[More]
Bob Hope: My Life in Jokes *
Reprinted by permission of Hyperion Books
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Boogie nights: Rock and Porn *
A special alchemy exists between the worlds of rock and pornography, as the infamous gain legitimacy and the famous get street credibility.
[More]
Boston Pizza 2004 Valentine's Pizza Poem contest winner *
Sorry...contest finished
[More]
Boston Pizza Contest *
Sorry...contest finished
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Boston Pizza Contest winning Poem *
Sorry...contest finished
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Celebrity candidates a tradition *
In California, especially, showbiz figures have often crossed over into politics
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Coupland joins 'McJobs' debate *
Writer Douglas Coupland — who popularized the word, McJob in his acclaimed 1991 novel Generation X — is surprised it's taken so long for McDonald's to officially protest.
[More]
Crown winds down case against Heatherington *
As the Crown's case wound down Friday in the trial of Dar Heatherington, the lawyer for the alderwoman accused of fabricating tales of being stalked wouldn't say if her client will testify.
[More]
Cubans keep driving to Florida *
Two Cubans who tried to sail to Florida in a truck converted to a pontoon boat last year have made another attempt, this time piloting a seagoing 1950s-era Buick.
[More]
Diane Arbus: The voyeur is revealed *
A retrospective of the work of photographer Diane Arbus shows why her images shocked so many
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Down the drain in Paris *
I had to go to Paris last week, for six reasons, some better than others.
[More]
E-nose can sniff ailments *
University of Pennsylvania researchers have demonstrated the promise of a hand-held "electronic nose" for diagnosing pneumonia and sinusitis by analyzing a patient's exhaled breath. The e-nose device could make it faster, easier and cheaper to spot some respiratory diseases and, as a result, reduce unnecessary prescriptions.
[More]
Fool's Day 2005 poster *
The 2005 poster. . .
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Fool's Day Parade, March 30, 2003 *
Sorry... finished for 2003
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Getting even is healthy, says author *
In his new book, Life's Little Annoyances, New York Times reporter Ian Urbina offers a compendium of the molehills we turn into mountains and our inventive strategies for coping with them.
[More]
Groundhog day (the event) *
Why is the movie channel (AKA the "Groundhog Day Channel") playing the movie Groundhog Day...yet again?
[More]
Healing Powers: All about Adam *
ALEXANDRA GILL meets a 16-year-old kid from BC who offers distant-healing treatments through his website -- and counts rocker Ronnie Hawkins among his patients.
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How to keep the laughs coming *
Montreal's annual comedy fest offers speed dating, mind reading and Cosby
[More]
Hunt for Billy the Kid continues *
The state of New Mexico is lending its 21st-century crime-fighting resources to determine once and for all whether Wild West outlaw Billy the Kid was killed by Sheriff Pat Garrett in 1881 or lived to a ripe old age in Texas.
[More]
Lack of curiosity killed the chat *
There are limits to conversational generosity. I'm not really blessed with completely unquenchable curiosity.
[More]
Laughter: the best medicine? *
Members of the world's 1,500 laughing clubs believe we can guffaw our way to good health, reports STEPHEN STRAUSS. Skeptics say the joke may be on them...
[More]
Loose lips tell us Bay St. is about to get 'Franked' *
ERIC REGULY dishes on how ex-Globe seat-mate became front man in magazine takeover
[More]
Man arrested for crashing Prince William's party *
In a breach of royal security, a man burst onto the stage at Prince William's 21st birthday party and snatched a microphone from the young royal as he addressed 300 guests, including his father and the Queen, news reports said Sunday.
[More]
Math Camp: Strength in numbers *
For most teenagers, being condemned to spend the summer doing math problems would be a special circle of hell. But for the gifted teens SIOBHAN ROBERTS meets at the Canada/USA Mathcamp, it's paradise -- five weeks with 110 other nerds who love math's 'elegance, its beauty, its innumerable coincidences'
[More]
Men struck dumb by beauty *
Research has finally proven what we already knew: Beautiful women make men stupid.
[More]
Miracle birth signals male moms? *
It may be every woman's fantasy, and a nightmare for the typical man: creating a male mom.
[More]
Naughtiness in News Articles Is a Proud April 1 Tradition Among the British Media *
English Patience: Our English Cousins are both gullible and good-natured about the annual pounding they must submit to, courtesy of the British Media.
[More]
On the day I was born, it rained *
Ever wanted to know how cold the Prairie winters were back in the 1840s or how humid a Toronto summer was in the early 1900s? — Environment Canada has just made it easier.
[More]
Osbournes lose a family member *
The Osbournes reality show has lost a member of the family.
[More]
Real-life toxic drama hits TV's 90210 school *
Brockovich's firm files class-action suits on behalf of sick Beverly Hills students.
[More]
Rewired brain revives patient after 19 years *
A man who was barely conscious for nearly 20 years regained speech and movement three years ago because his brain spontaneously rewired itself. U.S. doctors say they now can prove his brain has grown tiny new nerve connections to replace the ones sheared apart in a car crash.
[More]
Robbery case grows more bizarre *
The FBI asked for help Tuesday with the case of a pizza deliveryman who said he was forced to rob a bank and died shortly afterward when a bomb attached to his body exploded.
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- December 3, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHEAL KESTERTON.
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SOCIAL STUDIES -- June 13, 2003 -- Father's Day et alia *
The "mother" of Father's Day was Mrs. John Bruce Dodd of Spokane, WA.
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SOCIAL STUDIES -- November 26, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Wednesday, November 19, 2003 *
A DAILY MISECELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHAEL KESTERTON
[More]
SOCIAL STUDIES -- Wednesday, October 29, 2003 *
A DAILY MISCELLANY OF INFORMATION BY MICHEAL KESTERTON
[More]
Sudden Death Xmas Party & Garage Sale *
Sorry. Finished for this year.
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SUNDAY Fools Parade RAIN or SHINE * CHANGE CLOCKS One Hour *
This is to remind you that the 25th Annual Fool's Day Parade
storms ahead as scheduled, led by the Carnival Band RAIN or SHINE
(and believe us, it's just as much FUN in the RAIN)! ;-)
[More]
Super, but not useful *
One of the odder things about this year's Nobel Prize in physics is that it was given for research in two cold-temperature phenomena that have very different application pathways in the modern world.
[More]
The Rime of the Beleaguered Columnist *
As my lines of communication with the outside world fall away, one by one, the problem I face is trying to decide whether this is a good thing. It's possible that complete ignorance of everything that happens beyond the confines of my own body is a healthy alternative to subscribing to cable television, reading Toro and listening to drive-home radio shows. You never know.
[More]
The Vancouver International Comedy Festival 2003 *
The 17th annual Vancouver International Comedy Festival takes place on and around Granville Island, Vancouver, BC, July 24th through August 4th, 2003.
[More]
The Zen of Jane Curtin *
The comedian's goals are simple: to live in her beloved Connecticut, to work on projects she deeply cares about, and most importantly, to keep on having fun...
[More]
This will make your tail wag *
It was just a matter of time before the madcap reality trend extended to the animal kingdom -- and hardly a surprise Fox thought of it first.
[More]
TV viewer trips up Azinger *
Golfer awarded a two-stroke penalty after violation spotted by rules junkie
[More]
Two rich, weird dudes in one week: how sweet *
Late last week, American television seemed to go insane. But it wasn't true madness. There was method in it all -- a gleeful indulgence in enjoying the discomfort and looming downfall of one rich, weird, and allegedly predatory, celebrity.
[More]
Uses for Bounce dryer sheets -- fact or fiction? *
And all this time you've just been putting Bounce in the dryer!
[More]
Water Game Director's letter from Portugal *
A "diary" of sorts: "i’ve always wanted to write one of these, but it’s taken me some time to work up the courage to attempt to write something that will live up to the high standards of those emails sent by such luminaries in the johnny b array of acquaintances as elin sigurdson while she was in southeast asia and then australia, greg werker while he was in europe and ian beaty while he was in germany."
[More]
When the TSE quakes *
When the stock market dipsy-doodles, does it seem as though the Earth is quaking beneath your investments?
[More]
You know you're from Vancouver when. . . *
Too true, too true. . .
[More]
